Pop-Up Acquaintance

By Alexander Gilbert,

The similarities we share in life are treasure, yes, X marks the spot, treasure. Similitude is the creation of relation. From sharing the same planet to sharing the same bunkbed, we are all part of a perpetual interconnection. Someone else right now is sitting in their dark apartment alone while writing, as I am, and this brings me comfort, I am not alone; I am sharing this experience with others— past, present, and future. This is a blessing because if I was the sole bearer of my modern-walled off existence then I would… relate with Charlton Heston in the end of Planet of the Apes? Fall on my knees and scream at mankind, well now that I think about it, I should have done that directly after birth at the hospital. That would have stirred things up.

After my abrupt philosophy on similarity, I would like to narrow this immense concept to uncomfortable scenarios we commonly face. By documenting and analyzing these inescapable cringe moments we may be able to conquer them, or at least survive them. The first scenario I will discuss is the past acquaintance—surprise encounter.

The severity level of the past acquaintance—surprise encounter in some cases can cause permanent damage, and should never be taken on an empty stomach. The two biggest factors being the quality of life you have been living, and the character of the acquaintance. If you can answer poor to both these factors then immediate attention need be applied.

Know thy pop-up acquaintance, and know you are not alone. Yes you may be physically alone at the moment when a childhood friend’s mother approaches, shortly after, you lost your shitty job, and are looking for another low-level job because you dropped out of school, and are currently paying the cashier in change for the cheapest beer that the grocery store sells; but this scenario is apart of humanity, and humanity is seven billion strong. So if do-gooder Michael’s mom can’t hang with humanity in all its glory then you know thy pop-up acquaintance. A bozo? No, nobody uses that anymore. A boob!

If we collectively act we can get a handle on this rampant discomfort plaguing the world. A pop-up acquaintance should approach with sincerity, and nothing less. Under any other circumstances one should never forget the eject button, and what I mean by that is— just walk away. Bail. Instead of squirming around probing questions that you do not want to answer— walk away. Take your change else where. In cases where a person is more nimble in conversation then banter on about far flung jobs, and treacherous obstacles. Through mass positive, and negative reinforcement to pop-up acquaintance behavior the future may be a bright place where high hats, and holier-than-thou populations are muted for the safety of the public.

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